The Shine Journal

Exceptional Flash, Poetry, Art and Photography!



April 1992


Kaitlin Monier



I remember the yellow light of the street lamps,
the car door opening, mom lifting me from the car seat.
I remember the brick building against the starless night
and walking towards that building with mom and dad by my side.
I remember snowflakes dancing beneath the glow of street lights—

I remember entering the room.
The whiteness of the walls,
the silver objects, the doctors and
their uniforms and face masks and
I remember my grandfather.

I remember him lying in the hospital bed.
He was wearing a hospital gown.
I remember how I convinced myself he had a hole
in his tummy from the cigarettes he would smoke.
I had believed that hole was the reason for him dying.

I remember riding in the backseat of the car
on the way to the funeral home, watching rain
dribble down the windows.
I remember the blinding headlights of passing cars
against the black puddles settling in the streets.

I remember the before and after, but I cannot remember death itself.

Kaitlin Monier is an undergraduate creative writing major at Seton Hill University in Greensburg, Pennsylvania.  She has been published twice in Seton Hill’s literary magazine Eye Contact.  Kaitlin enjoys taking day trips to parks and historical sites.

Motivation: My grandfather's death motivated me to write "April 1992".  Although I was only three years old at the time of his death, it is one of my first memories.

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Editor: Pamela Tyree Griffin

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