When I arrived at Tonya's dorm, her wet hair dripped onto the linoleum floor. She smelled like vanilla soap and wore her lavender terry cloth robe, the one that matched her sheets. My first thought was, easy access, but now I think she probably just wanted to get it over with. She nodded at me, and I smiled.
In her room, she tuned her stereo to the college radio station and turned the volume up as high as it went.
We retreated to separate corners and undressed by ourselves.
We never even kissed.
I always shaved in case her cheek ever grazed against mine.
During the act, we barely spoke. I hovered over her, my arms propped on either side, caging her body underneath me. I let my eyes concentrate on the in and out motion of our union. I didn't look at her face.
The radio's volume drowned out our heavy breathing.
When it ended, I picked my clothes up from the neatly folded pile I'd left them in and dressed myself. I kept my eyes on the crunched chips that peeked out underneath her Sociology book, wondering if this was her major. If I looked at her longer than necessary, I'd falter. We had a pact ,and I didn't want to break it.
The moment after sex was the worst. I felt awkward, like I was on pins and needles, waiting for I don't know what. Something. But something never occurred.
As she walked me back to the lobby, I put my hand on the small of her back. She'd changed into jeans and a t-shirt ,and I let my fingers linger on the bare skin underneath her shirt. My hands had never been this close to her body.
Another student walked by and Tonya flinched, turning away from me. My hand fell limply to my side.
"So," she said, and I assumed she just wanted to schedule our next appointment. We could only hang out when her roommate had class. "There's this other guy I'm kind of into…" She didn't meet my eye, but I didn't expect her to.
I just nodded and walked out, clenching my hand into a fist so it didn't feel so empty.
Shana Silver lives just outside
She tells SHINE! that her animation career compliments her writing career because they both let her outlet her creativity in different ways. Her short fiction has appeared in The Hiss Quarterly and The Deepening. Shana’s website is: www.prematureevacuation.com
MOTIVATION: "The idea for this one came because I had been thinking a lot about today's society where people are so blasé about sex in pop culture. I wanted to explore what would happen if two people were so detached, they barely touched during the ultimate act of intimacy."