Since You've Gone
The world has changed
since you’ve gone.
I greet the morning
and feel an emptiness
that cuts through me like a knife.
I wake at night,
tears running down my face…
for in my dreams you are beside me.
When I awake, I am all alone.
I drive in my car,
and can’t stop looking at the sky.
I look up and wonder
if you are looking down at me.
A part of me wishes I could float
on a billowy cloud and find you.
I walk the empty halls of our home
and I can still hear the laughter
that we shared.
For some reason, all of the unhappy times
have vanished from my mind.
All I see is you, me, and the kids
laughing, acting silly, and having fun.
I remember every sweetness,
every tender touch,
every kindness that you gave to me.
Nobody has ever loved me like you.
Nobody has ever accepted me like you.
Nobody has ever taken care of me like you.
I can’t imagine anyone else ever will.
You loved me unconditionally.
I didn’t have to fit into a certain mold.
Sometimes the mold I wanted you to fit in
was too difficult for you,
And I feel bad that I was lacking,
unable to accept your mood swings.
I loved you.
I still love you.
Knowing that perhaps you thought otherwise
Knowing you felt lonely and hopeless
You were my love,
my best friend.
My life will never be the same.
Cheryl Williams resides in Charlotte, NC, where she writes for Examiner.com. as the Charlotte Love & Marriage Examiner, Charlotte Conflict Resolution Examiner, and Charlotte Christian Living Examiner. She also has two books published on Kindle, and her poetry and short stories have been published in numerous magazines and ezines. Cheryl hopes to touch others in a positive way through her writing. Of this work she says: "Enclosed is a poem I wrote soon after the death of my husband. He took his own life after suffering for many years with Bipolar Disorder. At the time we were separated. I thought others who have been through a similar experience might relate to this poem."
Photograph by Carien van Hest